For guys who’ve lost a girlfriend due to a break up and want to win her back, the following tips and tricks will help. Are you going too fast? Not doing enough of the right things? Is there a contact ex-girlfriend etiquette when trying to get back together, and if so, what is it? These questions, and more, are answered below.
Getting dumped by your girlfriend puts you in a very weird and awkward position. You want her back, but you’re not supposed to talk to her. Here’s someone you’ve been speaking to and seeing just about every day, and now you can’t go within arm’s length of her without being labeled a stalker. Weird, eh? Of course it is. So how can you get back your ex girlfriend if you’ve got all these rules and regulations to follow?
Winning back your ex is all about patience, timing, and knowing what NOT to do. Most guys fail miserably in the first few days following a break up, making all the same rookie mistakes that send their ex screaming in the other direction. Sending flowers… telling her you love her… and hey, isn’t it time to write out that heartfelt card to say all those things you never told her before? Yeah, right. All those things will destroy your chances faster than you can make that first desperate phone call. Contacting your ex girlfriend after she dumps you is actually one of the worst things you can possibly do if you want to win her back.
Are you ready to start? Good. Because the first thing you’ll need to do is accept the fact that you’re single again. Staying in denial about your breakup reeks of desperation, and your ex will smell it all over you. You need to let go of her first in order to get her back, and to do that you have to acknowledge that your relationship is completely over. You’ll miss her, want her, and need to talk to her… but the best thing you can do is turn off your computer, throw your phone over your shoulder, and head on over to a friend’s house for a night of mindless entertainment. Clearing your head and breaking all contact with your ex should be your number one and two priorities right now.
Worried that she’s waiting for your call? Feel like if you don’t talk to her she’ll slip away from you? Stop yourself and shake these thoughts from your head. Understand that there’s no quick fix for any relationship in which the girl dumped you. Fixing things between you and your ex will take time, and during that time you’ll need to avoid making bonehead moves. Keep telling yourself that you’ll eventually get your ex back, and believe that you will. Everything you’re going to do from here on out should be in line with a single goal: making your ex want you again.
Think about it: you’re in love with her, calling her, and emailing your ex. You’re there for her whenever she wants, always in plain sight. Think your ex misses you? Hell no. Which is why dropping out of sight is such a great way to get back in her head. You need to reverse the way you think, and more importantly, feel right now. The less she sees of you the better. When she thinks you’re still around she has no incentive to reverse the break up. Your ex will continue exploring single life for as long as she’s comfortable… and seeing you clinging onto her ankle makes her very comfortable.
Temporarily cutting the lines of communication makes your ex wonder if you’ve moved on, and this is a good thing. No contact ex girlfriend etiquette also dictates you’ll need to ignore her own calls or messages. This might be monumentally hard to do! But look at it this way, if she’s calling you, she’s already very curious. Ignoring her calls will quickly make her worried. And no, not “worried about you” in some stupid sappy caring way (like she’ll lead you to believe), but worried as in “Holy crap maybe he’s found someone else already! I can’t believe it!”. Confusing and scaring your ex out of her comfort zone will cause her to reconsider the fact that she ended things. For the first time since she let you go, she’s got to consider losing you for good – as both a friend and a lover.
Winning back your ex is always about making her need you more than you need her. To put her in this mindset, you cannot give away your hand. No matter how much you love her and want to talk to her again, by letting things go silent for a while you’re doing yourself a tremendous justice. You’re also increasing the chances that you’ll get back together with your exgirlfriend by ten times more than you would if you kept contact with her.