Playing the Field

Every so often, there are some natural phenomenon’s that occur that change the cycle of things.  Not quite sure of what is going on, I do notice that I no longer see “5, 7, 9” stores, I can actually find sexy bra’s in my size, and this curvy, sexy Goddess has had her little black book become quite large in the past few years.  As my little black book grew, the length in my days didn’t and in a matter of weeks, I went from being a “single girl, dating” to a “weather girl” (remember the hit song “It’s Raining Men”?).  Quickly I had to learn the art of managing this man monsoon, because the more men that asked me out, the sexier I felt and the more confidence I radiated, which led to…..yep, you guessed it!!! More dates!  Because I am a control freak, and somewhat of a planner, I sat down and assessed the situation.  I made a “pro’s and con’s” list.  The pro’s far outweighed the con’s.  Who would not choose this incredible sexy energy I got, along with the great boost in confidence, the opportunity to meet a wide scope of men, the perfect dates for all of the things I like to do (that’s correct, I did not have to take a baseball fan to the opera!), and some potentially good sex partners?  The only con’s that I could really come up with were my friends reactions.  One of them asked me if I “was serious about becoming a slut?”.  Another said that I was “only missing my chance to meet Mr. Right”.  Too bad.  My decision was made, and over the course of the last few years, I have dated a slew of studs, a few duds, and some romantic Romeo’s.  I am going to share with you just how you can take your dating from the minor leagues and swing your bat so that you, too, can play the field, with me in the All-Star game.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

The most important thing in playing the field is knowing what you want.  How many men do you think you want to date?  For some girls it is two or three men, already known to them, just to weed out the better of her suitors.  Others, like me, just go with the flow, realizing that as new men come into your life, old men fall out of it, and keeping a constant rotation optimizes on the “fun factor”.  What kind of men are you looking for?  If you are set in your way, and know that Monday’s you bowl, Tuesday’s you eat at your favorite place, etc., then chances are you are not looking for a variety in your men.  You want someone that is pretty similar to you, and your choices in men will be the same. It is safe to bet that most of your men will have common traits.  On the other hand, if you like doing a lot of different things, then maybe finding a bigger slice of the man pie may be a better idea for you.  Go for it! That is the whole point! Date that artist Monday.  Go out with that suit-wearing stock broker on Tuesday!  It is your world, Goddess!  Another thing you need to know in playing the field is what do you want to get out of it?  Are you looking for Mr. Right?  Do you want to just have fun?  Maybe you just like a very active social calendar.  Whatever the reason, as long as you know why you are doing it, make it work for you, not for anyone else.  Know what you want, and then, like the Goddess you are, go get it, wait, no.  Go get them!

KEEP IT REAL

You are a Goddess, and part of being such is being real.  This comes into play while juggling your men too.  You cannot expect to have this work at all if you cannot be honest with the men you date.  Listen closely, ladies.  What I am saying here is never let any man think that you and he are exclusive.  That is it.  Don’t ever give out all of the juicy details.  Your All-Star roster should remain as private as your medical records.  If you find that you have a brunch with Joe Saturday morning, and dinner with Steve that night (which is perfectly fine!) the last thing you want to do is meet Steve and tell him all about that brunch with Joe, but if asked you can simply say you had brunch with a friend.  See where I am going with this?  Keep in mind, with all of this male attention, you will be seeping a sexual energy that will make even the most flaccid man sniff you out in a crowd.  It’s inevitable that at one point a suitor will approach you with the offer to become exclusive.  Because you have been honest all along, all you simply have to say is “I am not ready for a monogamous relationship right now”.  (If you are, I will explain that a bit more into this)  On the flip-side, you might have the suitor who also “plays the field” and in his harem, he has found the woman that he decides to get serious with, and it is not you.  Gracefully wish him nothing but the best, and mark that number off as a “do not call”.  And really mean it!  Goddesses that play the field cannot be the jealous type.

TO SEX, OR NOT TO SEX

Imagine how much sex appeal you are throwing around, with all of these men wanting to spend time with you.  Your confidence is soaring, and opportunity is constantly there.  So, now what do you do when you are faced with the big question “Do I sleep with him?”  It is simple.  As long as you have condoms, and you want it, go for it.  It could be the best sex of your life, but you won’t know until you do it.  Now, it gets tricky when more than one of your guys wants to get busy.  But here is where your discretion and safe sex make all of the difference.  How many one night stands have you had, and said afterwards “Damn, I wish I did that more often”.  Usually, it’s because it’s something different than what you are used to.  In playing the field you are putting yourself in the center of a sexual perfect storm.  Already knowing the men you could potentially bed, you up your variety, or should I say spice factor tenfold, and could launch your sex life from ow to WOW like that! (I snapped my fingers!)  One huge benefit, when you do meet Mr. Right, you will have that little bag tricks you learned from your days of being a “player” and trust me ladies, he will worship you in the boudoir!

TIME TO SAY GOODBYE

Chances are, in dating multiple men, in time you will find the one that you think may be someone that you could exclusively date.  It is not an easy thing to do, but at this point you need to have your exit strategy in place.  And because you kept it real, this is going to be cake.  There should be no need for one last date with any of the studs in your stable.  A phone call is enough.  “I have met someone that I have decided to date exclusively” is all you have to say.  Most of the men will really respect the call, and wish you well.  Just make sure you really let all of them know that you are now unavailable, and in an exclusive relationship.  As any great woman with a “past” (it sounds so sexy, right?) you may get an occasional call or seven from some of the guys in your big black book (it really does get pretty big!).  As tempting as it could be, make sure you let them know that you are off the market.  After all, if your goal in juggling all of these men was to maximize on your time to find Mr. Right, and you think you found him, the last thing you want to do is put sugar in the gas tank of your lovemobile!

As with anything, playing the field is something that takes at least a little practice to master.  If you follow the few tips above, and take cues from your inner Goddess, in no time you will be able to perfect the art of juggling multiple men.  Remember, playing the field is the best way to narrow the playing field.  Keep your game up, and keep it about you.  When our mothers were young, this is how they held court.  There was no “dating” as we knew it.  They “kept their options open”.  Not that I am an anthropologist or a sociologist, but considering that the divorce rate has skyrocketed in our generation, maybe they were on to something.  It could be that they did not settle, they knew what they wanted, or they got to sow some form of wild oats, who knows.  What I do know is that after dating literally hundreds of men, this Goddess has found her Mr. Right, and if I had not dated all of the Mr. Wrong’s, and Mr. Almost’s, I never would have known what I was looking for, and what I had when I found it.  He knows and loves my All-Star past, especially because we hit a grand-slam home run in making “us” part of our future.